Ask James: How do I deal with friends who don’t put in any effort in our friendship?

Dear James,

How do I deal with friends who don’t put in any effort in your friendship?

 – Effortless friendship.

Dear Effortless,

This is a problem that plagues many friendships. So a way you can help the situation is by confronting your friend and telling them how you feel. Start by explaining the situation and saying something along the lines of  “I feel like I’m the only one carrying this friendship” or “you only talk to me when it’s about what you’re going through and never about what I’m going through.” or whatever the main problem is and please voice that. Then, have a conversation with them about it after you’ve voiced your feelings. It is very important that you listen to them as well. Please do not allow yourself to have the blame put on you or have them flip the script and say that you’re the problem when you know you’re not. After you talked it through it’s up to them to listen to your feelings and use that talk to help your friendship flourish; But, if they don’t and you find that nothing has changed it’s crucial that you understand not everyone is a good friend and sometimes you need to cut ties with someone for your own good and wellbeing.

-James