Dean from Gilmore Girls Raises Red Flag
October 20, 2021
Gilmore Girls first aired October 5, 2000. The show went on for 7 seasons. Throughout these seasons main character Rory Gilmore has many encounters with her first boyfriend, Dean. For the first 3 seasons, Rory and Dean had a relationship. But was he really someone that was good for Rory?
The first red flag is after their 3 month anniversary when he told her he loved her. She couldn’t respond. He broke up with her after that.
In Season 2, when Rory wanted some space for a night, Dean stopped by to bring her ice cream. This was a sweet gesture but was better suited for a different time.
Additionally, Rory’s dream was always to go to Harvard but Dean got irritated when she had to study. Dean wasn’t as supportive as a boyfriend should be. This also is displayed with his irritation with Rory for being at Yale, claiming he didn’t belong there.
Dean continued to show toxic behavior in how he would always yell at Rory when it wasn’t her fault. He often yelled at her in public, which is embarrassing and abusive. Without regard to Rory’s feelings and desire to keep the details of her relationship private, he broke up with her in front of a gym full of people.
Even though Dean was at times romantic and sweet, he was not a good boyfriend. His possessiveness and jealousy were too intense for a healthy relationship.
Red flags at the beginning of a relationship are indicators of further abusive behavior down the road. If you are seeking help in an abusive relationship you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
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Zee • Mar 5, 2024 at 2:35 pm
Dean was NOT abusive.
She strung him along and everybody knew she liked Jess…she embarrassed him so he embarrassed her. That’s completely fair
Rory was the one in the wrong.
Ashley • Sep 25, 2022 at 10:58 am
It’s an honored and widely practiced tradition to binge watch Gilmore Girls as the leaves change and pumpkin spice takes over, and the love plot between Rory and Dean is supposed to be the all-magical first love but you are 100% right in these points! Each year I watch the show it becomes more apparent how toxic Dean is. I can understand being young and in love and feeling crushed when your girlfriend doesn’t say “I love you” back, especially for the first time – but c’mon, it was only 3 months in and he totally blew up on her and then dumped her! And his behavior just got progressively more controlling; constantly calling her, belittling her for studying or being busy with her own life (also maybe a side symptom of the fact that he seems to have no friends of his own), and constant angry outbursts in public. Red flag!
loulou • Aug 31, 2023 at 4:02 am
Actually, Rory dumped him. It took a couple episodes for Rory to confess it to Lorelei, but she dumped him.
Mrs. Thomas • Oct 22, 2021 at 1:34 pm
Ally, you are spot on with these insights. Initially, a girl may think this kind of behavior means that he really is into her. But, what it really means is that he is controlling, possessive, and has low self-esteem issues. These behaviors are not healthy, and can lead to detrimental consequences.