Ask James: How do I deal with not feeling good enough and just not liking myself?

James Newman, Advice Columnist

Dear James,

How do I deal with not feeling good enough and just not liking myself?

– Timid and Unworthy

Dear Timid: I understand that completely; I am one who from time to time has this exact problem. So here are a couple of ways that I helped myself deal with this.

First off, I stopped thinking about the things I don’t like about myself. I stopped thinking thoughts like “ugh my stomach is so big”, “I’m so fat”, “I hate the way I look”, and other thoughts like that. To me, I think if I’m not actually going to do something about it, what’s the point of talking about it constantly and it’s something I really don’t care to change.

Secondly, I started saying how amazing I am; I just thought positively about myself, which for others may be very challenging. Focus on not what you can’t do, and instead focus on what you can do. If you excel at math, you should focus on that. Like, what’s the point of saying you can’t do this when you’re the best at something else we can’t all be amazing at everything.

Next, really come to terms with yourself. Understand that you are amazing, kind, and more than good enough for anyone. Look at yourself and see what you like. Try to every day find something different about yourself that you like and talk to yourself in a positive light. For example not saying your dumb or ugly. Again it is crucial that you speak to yourself in a positive light.

– James